Want New Life Abroad? Begin by Simplifying

I always used to think that one had to be wealthy to divide their lives between two countries. The few people I knew who did it were very well off. They maintained big second homes in Mexico that they left empty for months at a time. They didn’t worry about air fares or going back and forth on a whim.

With time I learned that with a simpler, more minimalist lifestyle, I could lead an expat life remarkably similar to theirs for a fraction of their cost.  In fact, I discovered that I could create a life in two countries that cost less than living in one.  

I have seen divorced friends enslaved by unwieldy worlds they built as married people. They’re unable to let go of the structure even though the work to maintain it has effectively doubled.  Similarly, couples keep huge houses after the children have long gone when the only reason they bought them 30 years ago was for the school system. When you catch a glance into their stuffed closets and garages, you get an even better idea of why they’re stuck where they are.

Numerous studies indicate people are happier when they invest in experiences rather than things. Eventually all this stuff, from old camping gear to 15 family bicycle helmets really drags down your imagination. I look behind the closet doors of many people my age and I shudder. This is how it starts, the slow creep towards social service people knocking at your door (or worse, your children getting in to your bid-nez.)

Nothing forces you to prioritize and pare down your life like the prospect of living in two countries. When you have to put things into storage every time you leave, you see items differently. (Interestingly, a few items you might have considered were non-essential you learn are more important than you anticipated.)

For me, the most radical paring-down decision I made in planning to live in Mexico was getting rid of my car.  It made no sense to pay for a store a car I’d only use six months a year.

In addition to being chauffeured around by some really fascinating Uber drivers and getting to practice my Spanish more, not having a car in Denver meant I didn’t have to hassle with finding parking places downtown, car maintenance, paying monthly resident parking fees, property taxes and all the tags and permits.

In Mexico, many expats don’t own cars, especially part-time residents like me. I don’t stand out as unusual.  Making the decision to go car-less was still hard. I’ve had a car since I was old enough to drive. But not having a car simplified my life substantially for years. It was one of the most freeing decisions I ever made. I saved a gob of money and headache.

Your personal plan for transportation if you chose to live part time in another country will be tailored to your circumstances, main factors being where in the US you keep a footprint, if you’re alone or part of a couple, and if you plan on purchasing a place in your second country (which means lots of trips to Home Depot. I don’t advise it).

Now that I come back to Richmond Virginia, which unlike Denver has no public transportation to speak of (I won’t ride a bus in the US.), a car’s been necessary.

You quickly develop an immunity to cluttering up your life once you adopt this lifestyle. Living in a less materialist culture like Mexico makes you more sensitive to marketing pitches that led you to having too much stuff in the first place.  You don’t realize how relentlessly we are marketed to until you live in Mexico and then go back. We’re marketing hostages online, on telephone hold in taxis and while and pumping gas.

I remember reading a quote that said a rich life means your personal life, rather than the number of possessions you have, should be what complicates your life.  People, rather than things should complicate you life. That sounds wonderful and true. Living in two countries doubles the opportunities to make more friends who can complicate your life in wonderfully fulfilling ways.

There’s plenty to do when you're orchestrating the transition to a two country lifestyle.

The purpose of expat life is not to make life harder. It’s to make life more interesting, and a good life more affordable. To pull it off, you have to be efficient and productive.

With no one to share the coordinating tasks with, once in Mexico it was particularly crucial to develop a streamlined, simple system for going back and forth twice a year.

In our careers we either learn how to be efficient ourselves or bosses send us to workshops and conferences that teach us. One way or another, we learn about prioritizing and discarding non-essential activities in order to be more efficient at our work.

What does “productivity” mean in managing your personal life? Same thing! Trim down the non-essential. Focusing on essential is the first step in preparing for rich duo- life in another country. One exercise I remember from a productivity class was to take the tasks you have to do and give each task a 1,2 or 3 ranking. Then throw away the threes.

A two country doesn’t mean you have to live like a refugee. Choose what to have on hand in each country that makes you feel in-full. In Denver, what made me feel grounded was coming back to pieces of art that had special meaning and a shearling coat that always made me look quite established as a native during Denver’s winters. In Richmond, my koozie’s been different (a boyfriend). 

After 10 years, and I still love my part-time expat life. The first expat I ever met in Mazatlan summed it up to me the first week I was there, “a happy expat is a part-time expat.”

Going through all the paces necessary to set up a mini-life in in two countries does the work you’ve always meant to do of simplifying your life - paring it down to what matters.

Kerry Baker is the author of three books. Her second book is If I Only Had a Place, a book on how to rent well, beautifully and cheaply in Mexico.

Her third book is The Mexico Solution: Saving your money, sanity, and quality of life through part-time life in Mexico. The manual on how to live in Mexico out there that won’t leave you numb. Her most recent book, The Lazy Expat: Healthy Recipes That Translate in Mexico, is a cookbook for travelers, snowbirds and expats who want to maintain a healthy diet in Mexico. (You must cook.)