What a Pair of Warby Parker Sunglasses Taught Me about Mexico and Myself
When you live in a foreign country, it’s easy for what would have been a boring day taking care of business to morph into humbling journey of self-discovery. See if you can identify the eight teaching moments in this recent single afternoon I spent in Mazatlán.
To set the scene, I was negotiating a hostage situation, trying to liberate a box being sent through DHL from the US from customs.
A shady-sounding intermediary organization, identifying as CODEX, neither Customs nor DHL, had contacted me via email with a demand of 1,700 more pesos for the box. (I’d already given over $400 dollars to DHL for a box that weighed 20 pounds), along with the demand it be paid within 48 hours or I could kiss my package goodbye.
To comply with their demands, I’d have to make a trip to Office Max to get a paper copy of the document they’d emailed me, followed by a trip to a bank to withdraw the money. After that I’d go to their bank, Banamex, pile of cash in hand, present the letter and pay the ransom. I’d email a picture of the receipt to the company and supposedly, my box would be released to me unharmed.
For a series of errands, it’s always best to hire a taxi rather than an Uber, as taxi drivers have discretion of what they can charge for your round of stops and I've found by taking a conspiratorial tone with the driver about the plan, I can often get a better fare. To further this connection, I expressed my indignation about the package that had been held for a month, and took him through the plan of liberation I wanted him to be a part of.
Congratulating myself roundly for doing all this in Spanish, I triumphantly popped on my sunglasses and we drove off. The feeling of being in charge immediately deflated when I realized I’d left the papelita with all the morning's info - addresses, phone numbers, account numbers in my apartment. We returned, I retrieved the slip of paper and we headed off as a team.
The driver waited patiently outside while I tapped my foot and muttered audibly in the line at Office Max. In typical Mexican fashion, lots of staff with no one moving very fast. Once a copy of the ransom letter had been secured, we went to a bank, where I fussed about the withdrawal fees and crowd, and directed him on to another, then on to Banamex, where I cooly paid the ransom.
Now that wasn’t so bad, was it? I told myself leaving the bank. Everything smoothly accomplished, no emotional breakdowns. An entire morning of negotiations conducted in Spanish. I reached into my purse to put on my Warby Parker sunglasses against the Mexican solar glare. But they were gone.
Noooo! I moaned loudly for all to hear. I’d had them for three months! I sat down on a chair outside the bank lobby and squeezed tears from my eyes. Okay, idiot. A good pair of polarized sunglasses is not in your budget this month. SUFFER! You deserve it for treating your life like a big yard sale, leaving all your personal possessions in your wake. Another, much more timid voice said, easy girl, you’ve been all over Mexico the last few months without losing a thing. MORON! The other voice screamed over the whisperer and me.
I called the taxi company first. No, the driver said, he’d not found them. A couple went into the cab after me. I fumed visualizing it: The young beautiful Mexican beauty queen finding my wonderful sunglasses. “Look what I found baby!” “They look great on you baby” “It’s your lucky day baby!”
Next I called Office Max. No they said, no sunglasses. Of course not! I thought, picturing the young cashier pocketing them after I’d left them on the counter next to the register while I fished around my purse for my wallet. And the voice yelled “Don’t blame them. You’re the idiot who left them there like an 8 year old’s winter mittens!”.
Standing outside the bank of the sidewalk, I stamped my foot down, raising my fist to the blinding sun. Onlookers backed-off as I intoned “I will NOT bear even a single day in Mexico without good sunglasses!” I jumped on the next bus that went by and walked a half mile to Gallerias, Mazatlan’s best mall. No Warby Parker store in Mazatlàn, I thought with disgust.
Purchasing new sunglasses to replace a pair lost like a child is nothing like the joy of buying a pair the first time. Grumbling and frowning at the price tags, I managed to draw the attention of security personnel, not an easy feat for an expat in Mexico. The ripped jeans that felt so hip in Denver now made me feel like a vagabond. My eyes red-rimmed, my make-up smeared, I grimly settled on a $200 pair of Ray-Bans and took an Uber home.
Still annoyed ($200!), I entered the apartment, throwing my keys angrily on the table where I’d retrieved the papelito, and where the Warby Parkers sat, facing me accusingly.
Lessons:
Shipping packages from the US to Mexico is expensive and fraught with risk and hassle. Unless it’s just paperwork, avoid it. No item’s worth it.
Transactions that are simple at home usually require a number of trips in Mexico. That’s why there are so many people on the streets. Every tramate takes longer. You can even hire people to wait in line for you and do these tasks. These people are called gestiones. A-type personalities are advised to hire them instead of stroking out in impatience in a line
Banks get crowded, ATMs at times don’t work or are out of money and exchange fees vary a lot from bank to bank. Always expect to go to more than one and be pleasantly surprised when you don’t.
Learning Spanish makes life easier and cheaper in Mexico. (Imagine a day like this in Mexico without it.)
When you lose a beloved item, it’s usually not so easy as going online and with one click replacing it. Don’t get too attached to your stuff.
When an incident happens, you will need to blame someone. The natives are the ones standing there. You will blame them and/or Mexico as a country.
As an expat, you will get used to being considered beyond suspicion. The first time you’re treated otherwise, you’ll be highly offended.
AND finally:
If you have an item that would traumatize you to lose, bring two.
About the author:
Kerry Baker is the author of "If Only I Had a Place," which presents a holistic system to finding a renting luxurious places for less. Renting in Mexico is different, with bonuses and dangers for the expat.
You can’t maintain a healthy diet in Mexico without cooking. The Lazy Expat: Healthy Recipes That Translate in Mexico shows you how. Her third book is “The Mexico Solution: Saving your money, sanity, and quality of life through part-time life in Mexico.” It’s the only how-to on how to move to Mexico that will both entertain and educate.